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This arrived anonomously in my email.
(\"Don Mauro \'Flim Flam\' Meannie\" is Mauro Flammini, head of Superbikes and \"Don Karma E. Splatter\" is Carmelo Ezpeleta, head of GPs, \"Captain Franco\" is Francesco Zerbi, head of FIM and \"Twitloock\" is Steve Whitelock, Superbike technical officer.)
Don Mauro \"Flim Flam\" Meannie\'s phone rings. It\'s the secret line, it can only be one of a very short list of people.
Sure enough Flim Flam recognizes the grunt from the other end.
\"Ciao Floggy.\"
Floggy. \"Hi.\"
Meannie. \"Wasa da problem.\"
Floggy. \"Wada ya mean, Problem.\"
Meannie. \"Wid you ees always problem.\"
Floggy. \"Well the mirrors are broken.\"
Meannie. \"I told you not ta look in da mirror hah hah hah!.\"
Floggy. \"No I mean the big mirrors we used to make the five bikes look like 75.\"
Meannie. \"So\"
Floggy. \"Well we were going to ship them to Malaysia but you know how the missus had them stuck up so she can look in dem all the time. We\'ll we\'d had a couple the other night and they got knocked over.\"
\"So now we don\'t have the mirrors to pull the same thing with the five bikes the Malaysians are fixin.\"
Meannie. \"So we\'ll get new mirrors, don\'t a worry.\"
Floggy. \"And....\"
Meannie. \"Go on. tell me.. tell Papa what you\'ve done now.\"
Floggy. \"Its not me its Captain Franco... He\'s really dun it this time. I mean we told him just to keep em off our backs and we\'d just cruise it. Nice and quiet. They\'re all to dumb to figure it out.\"
\"Now he\'s gone and wasted that MotoGP bike they\'re not going to stand for it. I mean Don Karma\'s mob are out for blood. And it\'s not just them, its got the punters all stirred up. We had a good thing going and bloody Franco just can\'t keep his hands off the trigger. It\'s just dumb that\'s what it is.\"
Meannie. \"Calma Floggy, Calma.\"
Floggy. \"I\'m not bloody Calma, it\'s all turning to shit. I mean there sayin\' there\'s goin\' to be an \'independent enquiry\' into our bike. I don\'t know what that means but it doesn\'t sound good.\"
\"You know we\'ve had to make yet another different lot of pistons and cranks \'cause they were still blowin\' up all the time. What if someone measures them and compares \'em with the omologation bikes.\"
Meannie. \"Well they\'re not going to do dat. Because those bikes never had any pistons or cranks in them. Remember.. stupeed.\"
Floggy. \"Oh yeah, das right.. but I mean what if this enquiry thing looks in them mologation engines and finds they\'re empty.\"
Meannie. \"Well first I had a \'talk\' to Franco the other day and let\'s just say he aint walkin\' too comfortable just now. I mean I told him just to cause a bit of a stir, throw his weight around and show them we mean business.\"
\"But you know Franco, he\'s not exactly bright and it all got a bit out of control.\"
Floggy. \"Well that\'s all real funny but its going to come back and bight us in the bum.\"
Meannie. \"Heh Floggy, don\'t a worry, I\'ll take care of you, don\'t I always... don\'t I?...\"
Floggy. \"Yeh.\"
Meannie. \"So its still down to Franco, he\'s caused the situation, he\'s got to control it. That\'s why we\'ve got the Arrangement.\"
\"I\'ve told him. There aint going to be any Independent Enquiry. That\'s what we\'ve got Twitloock for.\"
\"I\'ve told Franco that the most that\'s going to happen is that if ignoring it and burying his head in the sand like he normally does isn\'t cuttin\' it then Twitloock\'s goin\' to make some sort of statement about how every thin is right, it\'s by the book. end of story. No one\'s ever going to look into any engines.\"
Floggy. \"Dats good. Dats good.\"
Meannie. \"I\'ve told you Floggy, its going to be all right. That\'s why we\'ve got the arrangement.\"
Floggy. \"Thanks Don Mauro, Thanks.\"
Meannie. \"Ciao Floggy.\"
Meannie hangs up. \"Stupeed Eenglish...\"
